Sheldon, Dyan. Planet Janet.
Candlewick, February 1, 2003
Today, reporter Anastasia Brown will interview teenager Janet Bandry.
London, England
United Kingdom
The Bandry’s House
Anastasia: So, Janet, how old are you?
Janet: I’m sixteen at the moment.
Anastasia: Where do you live?
Janet: London. In the Horror House.
Ana.: Why do you call it the Horror House?
Janet: Because I can’t stand being in the house for too long! My family is v irritating!
Ana.: Can you tell us about your family?
Janet: Ah yes, my family… The female parent- the Mad Cow- is menopausal and favours the other Bandry child over me most of the time! The male parent- Sigmund- is a psychotherapist and lives in the Bunker (his office) most of the time and is mostly out working or not saying anything at all. And then there’s the other Bandry child, Justin, my older brother and pain-in-the-butt photography student in college. I can’t stand being in the same house as him!
Ana.: Hmmm… That is very irritating. So, now I can see a little bit on why you entered the Dark Phase! Can you tell us more about the Dark Phase?
Janet: The Dark Phase (or DP) is when you think deep and meaningful thoughts and you’re v deep and meaningful and always thinking.
Ana.: Hmm… Sounds a bit like myself… So, who’s your best friend?
Janet: That would definitely be Disha Paski. She’s in my class and also started the Dark Phase with me. We’ve been through everything together!
Ana.: What were you like before the Dark Phase?
Janet: Me and Disha were actually very happy and bright and cheerful until last year where we started noticing more of a darker, more truthful side of life and so we decided that we should begin the Dark Phase.
Ana.: Was it hard to get into the Dark Phase?
Janet: [thinks for a moment] Yes, it was quite difficult at first but slowly, it got easier and easier! You kind of think differently without noticing and things like that.
Ana.: I see. And what about sport? What’s your favourite sport?
Janet: That has to be yoga, definitely. It goes v well with the Dark Phase!
Ana.: Yes, it does! Now, I hear Sigmund was cheating on your mother, how is that going now he’s out of the house?
Janet: Oh that! Yeah, it’s much better! Actually, it didn’t make much difference at first because he was hardly ever at home!
Ana.: Is it still a Horror House now that Sigmund is gone?
Janet: Yes, it is. Not so much as it was but it is quite different! Somehow it’s quite surprising how different it was.
Ana.: Which reminds me, I hear Elvin was using you to get Justin to get something’s for his movie, what happened there?
Janet: Yes, Elvin did that, yes. I thought he was a really nice person and he was really sweet! And then it turns out that he was using me to get close to Justin! I can’t believe him!
Ana.: Amazing how low someone can stoop for something! Did you get over the Dark Phase or are you still in it?
Janet:Still in it! It’s amazing how much you can find out in the Dark Phase! Unbelievable, I knew that it would change my way of thinking and my way of doing but this dramatically? Absolutely incredible!
Ana.: What’s been the biggest change?
Janet: That’s gotta be… The way I think. I seem to be thinking more about things and think things through.
Ana.: Did people change towards you when you started the Dark Phase?
Janet: Actually… No, not really. I don’t think people really notice those kinds of things so easily.
Ana.: Thank you for your time, Janet!
Janet: Thank you! I really enjoyed this interview!

*v is an abbreviation of very which Janet uses a lot